Tiger Woods in the Masters

What do you think about when you hear the word "hero?" Is it Superman in a flashy, form-fitting spandex suit? Is it Joan Rivers? What about Scott McAlister, he's pretty cool? But alas! Heroes come in all shapes and sizes, and sometimes in unexpected places. My hero is... Elroy the Reindeer.

Elroy was born in Compton, down the street Dr. Dre and 2pac. Matter of fact, they used to kick it on the corner with their boys Boney and Shaft (RIP). By the ripe old age of three, weeks old, Elroy had gotten into some questionable dealings. He sold rabbit pelts and crack-cocaine in the mean streets of Compton. Little did he know, his life would change forever...

On a starry night, August 19, 1993, Elroy was trottin down Homey Street. He was packing in his antlers, without a worry or fear in this world. As he turned down the dark alleyway, he was bullrushed by the Police. He was taken down town and arrested for possession of an illegal firearm, stolen rabbit pelts, and crack cocaine. This was the lowest point in Elroy's life.

He could have given up, little Elroy; he could have fallen into the trap of lowly street crime. But his time in the slammer changed Elroy the Reindeer. He searched his large furry heart, and examined his sinful hooves. Change. A necessary change needed to be made.

After he got out on parole, Elroy traveled the country. No longer did he look to strippers and cocaine to fulfill him, but his own personal happiness by serving others. Elroy fed the homeless, and saved the lives of needy. One particular child, named McGoogle was on the same path as Elroy. Elroy adopted him and he now plays in the MLB (Major League Bookreaders).

How did I meet Elroy? I had the pleasure of meeting him at a particularly rowdy Christmas party. He was pretty sloshed, and I gave him a ride home. We hit it off, and now he lives with me. He is dear to me. He shares with me his wisdom. I am better person because of Elroy the Reindeer. He loves me, and I love him back. It is the most beautiful, non-sexual relationship two men can share. A "Bromance" if you will.

So when you think about heroes, don't jump to the stereotypical, Batman, Scooby Doo, or Grace Clipp, think of those who are dear to you. Those who touch your heart on a daily basis.


*Elroy the Reindeer is an inflatable plastic reindeer I stole from a party.